I don’t know how this happened but I do know where it began.
It began summertime 2008. Break-up mania.
My best friends and I all went from being in serious long-term relationships to single subsequently in the span of 6 months.
It started in “March” with Jade, which is fitting because her boyfriend of 4 years “marched” off with her best friend. May hit and Taylor was too, with the news that her first love had been cheating on her with his ex girlfriend. Rachel and Bianca both had June breakers. I’m calling them “breakers” because for anyone who has ever had their heart smashed, you understand how broken you feel. August was my turn. My high school sweetheart of almost 7 years told me he needed space, but what he really meant was that he wanted a different girl to fill it.
So here we all were. All different experiences of heart break, each unique with their own relational DNA. No matter how much people “knew how we felt” it didn’t seem to have relevance. Nothing did.
Fortunately, my girlfriends and I were in this together and as a result our break-up club was born. We were united in pain and our nightly tea dates were composed of discussing the good, the bad, and the not so beautiful memories of our relationships. We sat hour by hour dissecting how a love we thought was so great could have went so terribly bad. Were there warning signs we missed or things to look for that would help us weed out the good from the bad? A sort of go-to list of specifics that would help make the dating experience more fool proof? And more importantly, was there a way to restore the notion that good guys exist, that great love is attainable, and a way to help my friends believe that they would find better guys?
At some point during the break-ups, betrayals, and broken promises we started believing fear when he told us that we would never find guys who would love us “as much” or treat us “as well” as our exes. And we started believing that “good guys” were rare. It was during this point in our break-up process when I noticed that the hope my friends had in love began to die. I knew an intervention had to take place when after seeing a baby boy, Taylor said “He’s so cute. Too bad he’s going to grow up to be an asshole.” While my faith in love was beginning to fade as well, I knew I had to stand firm in knowing that great love is out there.
A year later, here I was in Central Park, feeling all the magic that only that park can contain. I wanted to take something back to my girlfriends that represented New York and also a gift that would serve purpose within their lives. Somewhere between seeing Times Square and drinking Serendipity frozen hot chocolate, I decided that what better gift than to give them what they all wanted so badly: guy advice. And who better to give advice than the source? So I began going up to guys I thought each friend would be interested in and asking them for their best advice for my girls. I wanted my friends to know that while one world ended with their break ups, there were many other great ones waiting to be explored.
I know people say that good guys finish last and I guess that’s an easy way for mean guys to justify why they don’t want to be good. But I don’t believe that good guys finish last. Good guys only finish last when they go for bad girls. When they settle for less than they are worth, and the same goes for us girls.
So this all started out in New York as a souvenir meant to give direction and restore hope to all my heartbroken girlfriends. A gift meant to provide them with insight about guys directly from the source. For all the Jades, Taylors, Rachels, Bianca’s, and Daniele’s out there I dedicate this to you. If a monster ate your heart, know that you will get through this, you will be okay and that you can borrow half of mine until yours heals. You’re a star: go find the guy that puts you at the top of his sky!
Loving Love,
~Daniele
*oxo.
*Names and dates (minus mine) have been changed for confidentiality
