breaking The F*Cking News

You’ve broken up, and as you’re slowly piecing your life back together you get asked the question.

You know the one.

The question that we’ve all been asked (and yes we’ve all asked as well).

“How’s your boyfriend?”

Or worst yet: “Where’s _______(Insert exes name)? He hasn’t been around in a while.” (Usually asked by moms or dads).

You’ve just been hit with your first dose of BTFN (my acronym for Breaking tha F*cking News).

And just like that, we can go from composed and functioning (completing a sweat-pant-free day) to on the spot bawling and wanting to crawl into a hole full of Krispy Cremes.

Since I know how much those initial questions can sting, here are some tips on how to BTFN before it breaks you.

1. Ask for what you need

The drama-free and direct “Trevor and I just broke up” text to your bestie/mom/dad/etc is bound to get their attention. And sometimes that’s all we want to say.

If you’re not ready to have a convo about it, don’t be afraid to say something like “I’m not ready to talk about it yet, but when I am I’ll let you know!” or “I’m having a pretty difficult week.  Trevor and I broke up and it’s too painful for me to talk about so I’ll tell you more when I’m ready.”

This tells your loved ones how to support you (i.e not asking break up related questions) while also feeling included in your break up.

Always remember: You don’t owe anyone an explanation, and it’s up to you who you go into detail with, and when you want to do that.

2. Know your timing and choose the best way for you

Telling people who had their own expectations for your relationship or who had grown attached to your ex, can be super difficult.

That’s why knowing your timing is paramount. You wouldn’t break the news to your mom when you’re out for dinner, if you know your moms going to have her own melt down.

Just like there’s no shame in dropping the news via text, there’s also nothing wrong with responding to the “Where’s Michael tonight?” question with a “He’s busy” response if you don’t feel comfortable sharing your break up at that time.

Whatever is the best way for you, is the best way!

So choose the time and means that you feel most comfortable with.

3. Straight up on the rocks

Your co-worker :”I can’t wait to meet your boyfriend!”

You: “Me neither.  I’ll let you know when I have one again!”

If you’re feeling good with where you’re at in the break up process, there’s nothing like coming right out and being direct.

Plus, the other person normally feels so awkward for asking that they change the subject immediately lol.

4. Social Media Cleanse 

Remember that exciting trip you and your ex took to Rome? Ya so does everyone else who checks you out on Instagram.  Nothing delivers the “we’re broken up” universally more than deleting some of your most recent ex pics.

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Love,

~d

*oxo.